Produce

I have felt on the verge of tears all day. I'm not sure why, I may be a little hormonal. :) It has just been one of those days.

I live a very blessed life with amazing family and friends, a job I love (except that whole getting up before dawn thing), a ministry that is extremely rewarding, and a husband that makes me feel like the apple of his eye.

But like Pastor Josh said today, when I prayed for God to use me it was dangerous. I should have expected some suffering, some uncomfortableness, some disappointment. The amazing thing is that this is all good for me. It doesn't feel to good though.

I have prayed for patience for quite some time now, and have been living out the production of that quality ever since. Some days I just don't want to be patient, some days I'm tired of waiting, tired of suffering, tired of enduring. Thankfully God always meets me where I am and tells me to take a deep breath and lean into Him. This is not a punishment, it's not because I've done something wrong, it's not because I'm not doing enough, it's not because I'm not good enough. It is because God wants me to look more like Him so that He can be glorified through me and this is the only way.

Suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. Romans 5:3-4