I'm gonna need another box...

This Sunday we are doing cardboard testimonials for the Easter services. I'm sure you have seen them and if not just type it into youtube and you'll get a bunch of hits. The basic idea is to display something that had been a struggle for you in life on one side and on the other side you show how God has changed that struggle into good for His glory. So I was thinking about what I would put on my piece of cardboard and realized I would need several boxes. God has changed me so much I don't know how I could narrow it down to one thing. So what better way to glorify God than to tell the many ways he has changed me! Here we go!

overwhelmed by guilt from my past ---FORGIVEN

lonely from giving myself to meaningless relationships--COMPLETELY LOVED BY GIVING MYSELF CHRIST

fearful---SECURE IN HIS PROMISES

stressed from relying only on myself---AT PEACE FROM PUTTING ALL MY TRUST IN GOD

felt like I didn't belong---ADOPTED IN AS A CHILD OF GOD

not good enough to be used by God----CONFIDENT IN HIS CALLING ON MY LIFE

angry---JOYFUL

consumed with grief---FULL OF HOPE

have no children of our own---GOD BLESSED US WITH 100'S OF KIDS AND YOUTH

Those are just a few and right now I am on the up-hill side of yet another testimony.

inconsistent and shallow prayers because of disappointment--????????

My goal is to pray everyday for the true desires of my heart-even if it hurts, even if it takes a lifetime. I am trusting God to meet me where I am and can't wait to see the testimony.

What's your "cardboard testimony"?

Rehearsal Starts Today

I listened to a great audio blog today at www.stevenfurtick.com that really stirred something in my heart. He said we should "rehearse the blessing of ministry, not nurse the curse".

The past almost 3 years have been a blur. Things seem to happen at such a fast pace it's hard to keep up sometimes. Life has become completely different than anything I ever imagined. Yes, things have been hard and I have felt stretched further than Gumby at times, but what a BLESSING it has been. I'm not going to nurse the curse of our calling, I'm going to rehearse the blessings that come with this amazing calling. I am going to have an attitude of gratitude that I get to have a first hand part in ministry. My husband is not working at a job he hates feeling like he is making no eternal impact. He has a job that he LOVES and is passionate about.

I love my job too and feel passionate about teaching, but sometimes I wish I could be more involved. I sometimes wish I could be there full time to work on ministry with David, because I know that these kids and teens are at a critical stage and that they are our future. I know that the part I do play is a blessing straight from God and so I will give it my all and be quick to rehearse the blessings of being in ministry has brought me.

I am blessed by being in ministry because...

-I get to see peoples lives changed for eternity!

-I get to go to places and minister to people I would never be able to otherwise.

-I know LOTS of people who are almost always willing to lend a helping hand with

whatever I need.

-I have a husband who commits a LOT of time to serving God, worshiping God,

praying to God, and studying His word everyday, which provides me with an

amazing covering and a husband who is leading our marriage with the direct

instruction of Christ.

-I get to influence the lives of young kids and teenagers and watch them grow.

-I get to use all the things I thought would never let me be used for Christ, to help

and minister to people.

-I get to dress up, play games, decorate, go out, have parties, ride crazy roller

coasters, and laugh until I can't breath because it is my job!

-I have more "children" than I ever thought I would!

-I get lessons on leadership daily though situations.

-I have lots of people praying for me.

-I am being molded into the image of Christ and made into the ultimate version of

me one day at a time!

It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some t be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Hebrews 4:11-13

Produce

I have felt on the verge of tears all day. I'm not sure why, I may be a little hormonal. :) It has just been one of those days.

I live a very blessed life with amazing family and friends, a job I love (except that whole getting up before dawn thing), a ministry that is extremely rewarding, and a husband that makes me feel like the apple of his eye.

But like Pastor Josh said today, when I prayed for God to use me it was dangerous. I should have expected some suffering, some uncomfortableness, some disappointment. The amazing thing is that this is all good for me. It doesn't feel to good though.

I have prayed for patience for quite some time now, and have been living out the production of that quality ever since. Some days I just don't want to be patient, some days I'm tired of waiting, tired of suffering, tired of enduring. Thankfully God always meets me where I am and tells me to take a deep breath and lean into Him. This is not a punishment, it's not because I've done something wrong, it's not because I'm not doing enough, it's not because I'm not good enough. It is because God wants me to look more like Him so that He can be glorified through me and this is the only way.

Suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. Romans 5:3-4

Heart Broken

My heart broke today.

We had a meeting to discuss Senate Bill 4 & 6 at school today. If you don't know what they are you should go NOW to http://feaweb.org/florida-teachers-express-opposition-to-senate-bill-6 and check it out!

This legislation is possibly the most damaging and demeaning bill to ever be brought to our attention. I DO NOT understand how people can really think the best thing to do in order to help our states education system is to completely undermine it! The bill will have the following effects:

• Decrease the ability of local school boards and school districts to make a wide array of decisions having an impact on local schools and replacing them with a one-size-fits-all approach mandated from Tallahassee.

Have you ever tried on a one-size-fits-all shirt? There is no way that shirt can fit a 90 pound woman and a 300 pound man. It just isn't going to work!

• Require that all teachers be retained, certified and compensated based on student test scores on standardized tests -- not years of experience or degrees held.

Masters Degree in Teaching Reading? Sorry, your 5 year olds marked outside the bubbles on their standardized test-YOUR FIRED!

• Penalize school districts that even consider length of service or degrees held when determining compensation or reductions in force.

We don't care what you want-it's all about us, the Big Shot Politicians!

• Order that teachers be issued probationary contracts for up to five years; then an annual contract every year after that … eliminating due process.

Job Security? Don't plan on planning your life!

• Mandate more standardized testing for students (end of course exams for all subjects) and for teachers (additional certification requirements).

Kindergarten Students-You will now have 3 hours to complete the test. Just pee in your pants if you have to go!

• Exclude the salary schedule as a subject of collective bargaining. The state will decide what categories of differentiated pay will be provided for.

Complete Government Control!

I am a teacher who loves her job and is passionate about teaching my students, I purposefully went back to school to get her Masters Degree because I know that teaching students to read and write is the most important academic lesson they can learn and because I know I have to do everything I can to plan for my future, I work long hours, donate $100's of dollars to my students and classroom every year, wipe noses, tie shoes, ruin perfectly good manicures getting all kinds of dirty to get kids excited about learning and engaged in lessons, encourage kids with no one to do it at home, try to instill some sort of discipline into children with NONE, pray for my kids EVERY SINGLE DAY, and leave every students (no matter what they may have done that day) with a hug and I love you.

Apparently that means nothing. Apparently I'm not worth it. My job just isn't that important-which in turn means that our children just aren't important to the government.

If you are a parent of a child in Florida Public Schools or just a supporter of education PLEASE contact our Representatives-Durell Peaden and Don Gaetz and Senator Greg Evers and tell them NOT to pass Bill 6 and 4!

If you want to have any say in your child's public education we have to stop this! If you want good teachers to stay in Florida to teach your children we have to stop this!

If you know me and believe that the job I do, the years I've put into children, and the purposeful education I have worked for is worth it, WE HAVE TO STOP THIS!

Back in the Stirrups Again!

I have read about 100 blogs about peoples journey's to parenthood. It is sometimes nice to know you are not alone on the trip, but it's not what I want my blog to be centered around. When I analyze every thing that is happening in my body and chart every little thing, getting pregnant becomes the overriding thought in my head-the epicenter of my emotions, thoughts, and time. That place is only supposed to be occupied by God. So, I decided that I will not let getting pregnant become the most important thing in my life ever again. But, I do think re-evaluating the situation is important occasionally.

So, yesterday I had my first appointment with my OB/GYN since our miscarriage. I saw the nurse practitioner, who is AMAZING! She was wonderful when I miscarried and made sure the nurse called me EVERY day for a month to check on me. She has a sweet, sweet spirit and I think God put her in the office that day just for me.

Anyway, I had a few questions planned for her yesterday and was sitting on the table with the lovely white sheet rehearsing my questions. As I sat there I started to get upset. I think just being there and thinking about everything stirred up those emotions. I managed to get myself together before she came in and when she did she was already on the same page as me. She answered my question without me having to ask it and really set me at ease. She confirmed what God has spoken to me.

I am not at all opposed to using medical methods to achieve pregnancy, but for David and I it is not the way right now. Our first baby was conceived without intervention, so we know it can happen. We both believe that God has a plan for our family and that He will give us a child in His perfect timing.

That being said, we have to do our part too! So, I am going to have more testing done next week to check some hormone levels and such. We have a good plan of action in place should the tests show an irregularity. A plan that doesn't include me being poked, prodded, scraped, biopsied, and stressed out! A plan that doesn't include us paying thousands of dollars for bad news! A plan that doesn't include medications that, FOR US, would be going around God to get the job done.

For the first time in almost a year I feel a little excited about the chance of having a baby. I know many people have waited SO much longer than we have, but the thought of actually getting pregnant next month, after over 3 years of trying, makes my heart race! I'm trying not to get to worked up, because I know that God's plans are not usually my plans. I know that it may not happen. I know that the two pink lines may not show up.

So please pray for us! I know so many people are praying and it lifts up my spirit! It is the desire of our hearts to have a child of our own. I told a friend the other day, I cannot wait until the day when all these prayers turn into a little person! That has got to be one special kid!

I know that God makes all things work together for my good and because he has revealed that truth to me I will always have HOPE. I don't know how people go on without it.

'I saw the Lord always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;

MY BODY ALSO WILL LIVE IN HOPE Acts 2:25-26

Sweet Reminder

Today my students performed their Kindergarten play. They were lions-Kings of the Jungle. They were so cute in their paper plate masks, crowns, and painted on whiskers! As they were sitting up on the stage singing and doing their best...I was reminded why I LOVE my job.

The past two weeks have been pretty torturous! Practicing for a play with around 80 five year olds in MADNESS! Trying to get them to sit still for an hour of practice, learn when to go onto and off of the stage, and say their lines into a microphone is a monumental task. Every practice was grueling!

But today, they were awesome! Did they remember all their lines? No way! Did they keep their eyes on the teacher, sit tall, and sing loud? Sometimes. But they were so good and even if they weren't, the look on their faces and their parents faces made all the pain of practice worth it! It is the same feeling when all the work and time and effort pays off at the end of the year when those kiddos move on to 1st grade.

God has placed me in a most important position. What an honor to be the first "teacher" experience for these precious children. Most people remember their Kindergarten teachers forever and I want to be the kind that made them love school and learning and that ALWAYS made them feel loved!

Don't get me wrong, it's not always easy and there have been days when I wish I would have done things differently! It is my job to teach, mold, guide, and love EVERY child God has placed in my path, no matter how difficult they make my day or how useless I feel my influence is on them!

Today God reminded me of the precious job I have and that no matter what is happening in the world and around these kids, I have to be the light of Christ for these kids! He reminded me of the payoff for all the work!

EVEN IF I KNEW THAT TOMORROW THE WORLD WOULD GO TO PIECES, I WOULD STILL PLANT MY APPLE TREE. Martin Luther