Back in the Stirrups Again!

I have read about 100 blogs about peoples journey's to parenthood. It is sometimes nice to know you are not alone on the trip, but it's not what I want my blog to be centered around. When I analyze every thing that is happening in my body and chart every little thing, getting pregnant becomes the overriding thought in my head-the epicenter of my emotions, thoughts, and time. That place is only supposed to be occupied by God. So, I decided that I will not let getting pregnant become the most important thing in my life ever again. But, I do think re-evaluating the situation is important occasionally.

So, yesterday I had my first appointment with my OB/GYN since our miscarriage. I saw the nurse practitioner, who is AMAZING! She was wonderful when I miscarried and made sure the nurse called me EVERY day for a month to check on me. She has a sweet, sweet spirit and I think God put her in the office that day just for me.

Anyway, I had a few questions planned for her yesterday and was sitting on the table with the lovely white sheet rehearsing my questions. As I sat there I started to get upset. I think just being there and thinking about everything stirred up those emotions. I managed to get myself together before she came in and when she did she was already on the same page as me. She answered my question without me having to ask it and really set me at ease. She confirmed what God has spoken to me.

I am not at all opposed to using medical methods to achieve pregnancy, but for David and I it is not the way right now. Our first baby was conceived without intervention, so we know it can happen. We both believe that God has a plan for our family and that He will give us a child in His perfect timing.

That being said, we have to do our part too! So, I am going to have more testing done next week to check some hormone levels and such. We have a good plan of action in place should the tests show an irregularity. A plan that doesn't include me being poked, prodded, scraped, biopsied, and stressed out! A plan that doesn't include us paying thousands of dollars for bad news! A plan that doesn't include medications that, FOR US, would be going around God to get the job done.

For the first time in almost a year I feel a little excited about the chance of having a baby. I know many people have waited SO much longer than we have, but the thought of actually getting pregnant next month, after over 3 years of trying, makes my heart race! I'm trying not to get to worked up, because I know that God's plans are not usually my plans. I know that it may not happen. I know that the two pink lines may not show up.

So please pray for us! I know so many people are praying and it lifts up my spirit! It is the desire of our hearts to have a child of our own. I told a friend the other day, I cannot wait until the day when all these prayers turn into a little person! That has got to be one special kid!

I know that God makes all things work together for my good and because he has revealed that truth to me I will always have HOPE. I don't know how people go on without it.

'I saw the Lord always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;

MY BODY ALSO WILL LIVE IN HOPE Acts 2:25-26